Writing here is really helping me. I am grateful for the sense of community and am also finding that planning/figuring out what to write is giving me a focal point (or something) for reflection on how I am feeling and what I am learning or worrying about – even about things I haven’t ended up writing about yet. I am starting to feel a lot clearer and healthier, which is wonderful and will hopefully help with the coming days and weeks as the novelty wears off and I begin to encounter the inevitable social occasions and times of stress (etc etc). I know it is super early days but I am going to let myself off the hook on posting here every day, although I plan to try journaling offline and hopefully keep posting pretty regularly. I’m still sleeping badly and pretty tired by the end of the day but hopefully that will continue to improve and with it my ability to sustain a train of thought and write meaningfully about it! (On rereading there are an awful lot of “hopefully”s in this post. Speaks to my state of mind I guess!)
Wishing you all a very happy sober Friday and a lovely, peaceful weekend.
x
Filling a New Cup 
Happy Friday, hope is really important in this process. It takes time for your brain and body to recover from long term alcohol abuse. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of PAWS? Have a read through this and also watch the video at the end. I wish to god someone had given me this information when I was trying so hard these past years to get sober. https://hurrahforcoffeeblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/18/paws-is-it-a-real-thing/ I lasted 1 month, 3 months, 6 months an not beyond that due to how shit I started to feel, not understanding that the miracle is just beyond that point. This doesn’t mean you will feel shit all the time! Not at all. It just gives you a better understanding of the time it actually takes your body and mind to recalibrate. x
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Thank you! I have seen a few people talk about PAWS so I’m kind of forewarned. At this stage it feels like kind of a remote prospect. I think I’m still somewhat in the weeds of the first part!
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Agree with Hurrah above that the shit comes in waves (now there’s an unpleasant visual image for first thing in my morning – sorry about that!!) it’s learning to surf that’s the key and knowing – really KNOWING – that the wave will die down and the next bit will be easier if you can just stick to it.
it sounds as if you are doing so well and giving yourself lots of grace in these tricky early days. keep up the good work! xx
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Ha! Thank you- I really like that (the surfing not the waves of shit 😂) I think although on many levels I was worrying about my drinking for a long time, I made the decision to stop so abruptly, and then read SO much in such a short time that my brain is still kind of catching up with itself and I feel a bit bewildered. Learning to “surf” sounds very appealingly like learning to go with the process but not totally subsumed by it. Thanks again. Have a lovely weekend! xx
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It’s great that you’re giving yourself lots of gentle kindness. As for the daily writing, it’s been really helpful to me to keep a journal, just to see the improvement in words.
Sending you lots of healing and hope!
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Thank you. I’m still finding writing a little frustrating- my brain feels so… slow but I can totally see the value of journaling this time to look back on. Such massive shifts in the way I have thought about/understood so many things. xx
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