Truckin’

Day 52 – still here! I started feeling a bit of… guilt, I guess, or maybe embarrassment, that I am not blogging more frequently or abounding with the insights and energy that others seem to be at this stage of early sobriety, but then I realized that is a bit ridiculous. It doesn’t matter what my sobriety looks like for now, as long as I keep doing it – that is, not drinking – and so far that is going just fine. I am working hard to prioritize my sleep (at this stage my need for sleep!) and, as we decided not to put the kids in any kind of summer camp this year I am also full (FULL!)-time parenting three very energetic little boys. I am struggling with a bit of brain fog, which I hoped would have lifted more by now but under the circumstances perhaps just a function of not having enough time and head space to really organize my thoughts. If I am honest (and isn’t that why we are here?!) I have been giving my sugar dragon its head for too long and with too much abandon, and that is probably also taking a toll on my energy levels, mental health and waistline (ffs!). Onward…

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6 thoughts on “Truckin’”

  1. I have not been all dancing through the forrest with small creatures singing to me either. I was on a sober hiiiiiiigh for about 60 days but the next 300 have been a lot of slogging through life like a raw nerve. It doesn’t matter. Doing life sober has to be better than doing it drunk. Even if it takes a while to find your flow. We soldier on.

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  2. I ate tons of cookies and chocolate my first two years sober every single day, after barely eating a single dessert, hardly ever. And I drank about 8 cups of coffee a day. I finally am off refined sugar and I am down to one cup of coffee a day. Take it one day at a time. Focus on sobriety and the rest will come. It took me a while… your blog posts are so inspiring! Glad to be able to read about your journey.

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    1. Hello! Thank you so much for this – more than I can tell you, honestly. I have slept INSANELY badly since I stopped drinking and actually one of the reasons I stopped was to try to improve my sleep, so it’s been gutting. I have been messing around with supplements and exercise and massage and even downloaded some meditation apps that I suspect I paid a (relatively) iniquitous amount for… and then I read this comment and I swear it was as though someone finally switched the lights on. I thought, “Holy moly, 8 cups of coffee a day!” And then I did that little counting in your head thing that one does and realised that I, too, have been drinking 8 cups of coffee a day, easily, and eating a shit ton of chocolate, and thought, “I wonder if it’s the caffeine…” and it would seem that it was. That day and every day since I have limited myself to three cups and all before midday and, hallelujah, have seen a steady improvement in the depth of my sleep and the number of hours I stay asleep. Last night was the first in I don’t know how long that I had an unbroken (I didn’t even wake up to drink any water or pee!) night and I feel AMAZING. So even though it wasn’t exactly your point it was the best and most helpful and perfect comment and… well, just thank you. I love your blog, and I am so appreciate you being here! Xxx

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